I was reading a 2006 edition ng reader's digest just last Sunday sa gitna ng napakaraming commercial ng Will to Win ni Barrera vs Pacquiao. The cover story? Princess Diana. Her secret love, marriages, and all. Ang lungkot pala talaga ng life story niya. But my fave part in it was the part wherein she had to auction her gowns for charity work as suggested by Prince William, a first in the royal hierarchy. sabi dun, every morning, she and the editor in chief ng isang exclusive royal magazine had to pick up what to auction. but everytime she remembers in what event she wore one, palagi niyang di nakakayanan ipamigay... but in the end halos wala rin natira sa mga ari-arian niya. and it was, as experts readit, a very brave move for her to forget about the past and move on to a new life.
lahat tayo i believe has a parallel situation. ako, hindi naman ako Lady Di who has a glamorous life and golden properties. na-bad trip lang ako kanina. i wanted to post here the lyrics of Baz Luhrmann's "SUNSCREEN," one of the best song ever written. alam ko na-save ko sa USB ko yun eh. but while i was browsing it, all i can say was, "OH NO. P*TAH." e nasira nga yung drive D namin e, so wala akong back-up. all the while i thought andito yung folder na yun. that folder is MY LIFE. andun lahat ng lyrics ng kantang na-save ko, my essays, poems, and other journals. BAD TRIP TALAGA. pero ndi ako masyado nasaktan. after all, they already served their purpose. sayang, yeah, pero why should i grow bitter pa? e ndi ko na rin naman mare-retrieve no matter how many buckets of tears i shed.
masakit talaga mag-let go. partida di pako nakakaranas mawalan ng TAO sa buhay ko na sobrang kalulupasayan ko. pero parte na yun ng buhay e. feeling ko di naman kamanhiran yung madaliang pagtanggap. it's just my way. ayoko lang kasi mag-dwell. natatakot na ulit ako maging emotional. it's so bothersome. kaya pasensiya na kung feeling mo di kita pinapahalagahan. feeling mo lang yun.
sa dami ng patterns na nakita ko sa buhay, alam ko na palagi ang susunod. but i always have a choice. either magpakatanga ako and repeat my mistake, or do some other thing. we always have a choice. di ako naniniwalang we are made to just live what's given.
kaya eto, i'm moving on. di ko alam if i'd ever be healed with my worst ailment: ang nostalgia. pero alam kong it still helps me get by. my past is just so beautiful para kalimutan. it just keeps me holding on, kahit sa mga bagay na di ko pa nakikita.
till next time, reader.
ayn XD
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